Yesterday was 7 months. You know who remembered? Nobody. Not a single person said a word to me about Tyler yesterday. I actually had fewer visitors to this site yesterday than the entire month of June. I NEVER expected everyone (or anyone) to remember every month or even his birthday, but the reality hit yesterday. This is when my pain is only my own, it can't be shared. Unlike the past few angelversaries, there were lots of tears yesterday. Lots of triggers to remind me that my life isn't roses and I'm not the naive person I once was. I wish I could be, yet so thankful I'm not. And knowing that everything happens for a reason and that there's a higher power at work, doesn't make the hurt any less. I ache so badly, physically, when I look at pictures of Tyler. "One more" will never be enough, but I can't help but wish for one more kiss, one more touch of his soft skin, one more chance to tell him how much I love him and how badly I miss him. I know that this life is a blink in comparison to eternal salvation, but it feels too damn long to me.
7 Comments
Ann
6/29/2010 01:33:23 am
Sometimes people just don't know what to say. They are afraid they may say something that causes you more pain. So rather than do that they say less...or nothing. Love you.
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Brandy
6/29/2010 02:59:21 am
I just want you to know that Tyler is definately not forgotten! Even though I don't know you guys personally, I think of you often and pray for you and Jim every night. I'm so sorry for the pain you both are going through. I know you already know but it is so important to stay in the Word everyday. That is the only way to receive any peace and hope.
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Jenessa
7/7/2010 11:09:18 am
Hey Sweetie,
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Jenessa
7/7/2010 11:12:39 am
Okay it cut me off!!
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mary Jane Verhulst
7/7/2010 01:33:34 pm
I would love to meet you for lunch sometime when you are back here. Hugs to you and your sweet angel.
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Maghan
7/10/2010 10:58:21 am
You don't know me, but I some how stumbled on this site after becoming a member of Babycenter. I have been following your story since before you gave birth to Tyler and check back every so often to see how you are doing. I just wanted to let you know that I have prayed for you and your family numerous times and I will continue to do so. I pray that the Lord will fill you with a peace that passes understanding and He will heal your heart as much as possible.
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Brittany ClarkI'm blogging in hopes of reaching out to other parents who have to face the most heartbreaking experience in life. Archives
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