Ask My Mom How She Is
My Mom, she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before But from now until she dies, She'll tell a whole lot more. Ask my Mom how she is And because she can't explain, She will tell a little lie because she can't describe the pain. Ask my Mom how she is, She'll say, "I'm alright." If that's the truth, then tell me, why does she cry each night ? Ask my Mom how she is She seems to cope so well, She didn't have a choice you see, Nor the strength to yell. Ask my Mom how she is, "I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping." For God's sake Mom, just tell the truth, Just say your heart is broken She'll love me all her life I loved her all of mine. But if you ask her how she is, She'll lie and say she's fine. I am here in Heaven I cannot hug from here. If she lies to you don't listen Hug her and hold her near. On the day we meet again, We'll smile and I'll be bold. I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mom, With all the lies you told!" -Author Unknown |
A Dad's Grief
It must be very difficult
to be a man in grief since men don't cry and men are strong no tears can bring relief. It must be very difficult to stand up to the test and take the calls and visitors so she can get some rest They always ask if she's all right and what she's going through but seldom take his hand and ask "My friend, but how are you?" He hears her crying in the night and thinks his heart will break he dries her tears and comforts her but stays strong for her sake It must be very difficult to start each day anew and try to be so very brave He lost his baby too. -Author Unknown Living When a Loved One Dies "Time heals" many people say. It may. It may help to dull your pain. But the medicine of time, taken by itself, is not sure. Time is neutral. What helps is what you do with the time. by Earl A Grollman |
I edited the original...but I found this through another Potter's mommy.
MY NEW “NORMAL”
Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family’s life.
Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind.
Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart.
Normal is staring at every baby who looks like he is my baby’s age. And then thinking of the age he would be now and not being able to imagine it. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen.
Normal is telling the story of your child’s death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone’s eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of my “normal”.
Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child’s memory and his birthday and survive these days.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special that my baby would have loved, but how he is not here to enjoy it.
Normal is having some people afraid to mention my baby.
Normal is making sure that others remember him.
Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.
Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not better.
Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING. Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you – it doesn’t compare. Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.
Normal is trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it.
Normal is realizing I do cry everyday.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of your child.
Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.
Normal is not listening to people make excuses for God. “God may have done this because…” I love God, I know that my baby is in heaven, but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why babies were taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.
Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have three children or two, because you will never see this person again and it is not worth explaining that my baby is in heaven. And yet when you say you have two children to avoid that problem, you feel horrible as if you have betrayed your baby.
Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.
And last of all, Normal is hiding all the things that have become “normal” for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are “normal”.
-Author Unknown
First Christmas in Heaven
I see the countless
Christmas trees around the world below With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here. I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring, For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing. I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart. But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart. So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear. And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above. I sent you each a memory of my undying love. After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold. was always most important the stories Jesus told. Please love and keep each other, my Father said to do. I can't count the blessing or love has for each of you. So have a Merry Christmas and Wipe away that tear Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. |
Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know. Don't worry about hurting me further. The depth of my pain doesn't show. Don't worry about making me cry. I'm already crying inside. Help me to heal by releasing The tears that I try to hide. I'm hurt when you just keep silent, Pretending she didn't exist. I'd rather you mention my child, Knowing that she has been missed. You asked me how I was doing. I say "pretty good" or "fine". But healing is something ongoing I feel it will take a lifetime. ~ Elizabeth Dent ~ |